UP IN ARMS

Home Again, Home Again...Jiggity Jig

2008-09-06T18:14:00.000-07:00

“Home is where one starts from,” wrote T. S. Eliot in the second part of Four Quartets, and we find ourselves back again at our starting point in North Carolina. Hank and I have resigned from the Thornwell Home for Children and are now back in Mebane. This was a gut-wrenching and painful decision, not made lightly but after prayerful consideration and a growing concern that we simply could not deliver love the way they wanted it delivered.

We leave with the knowledge that while we were at Thornwell we loved and nurtured "our boys” to the best of our abilities. We wanted them to know as much as possible about their world, and to develop a respect for their planet and for all the diversity of cultures that people this Earth. Teaching them to recycle, entertaining international visitors, learning more about organic and healthy food choices, taking pride in using proper etiquette and proper English, and living each day with laughter were de rigueur with "Mr. Hank" and "Mrs. Sara."

In a previous blog entry we wrote about adapting a wonderful line from the movie "The Cider House Rules" for the boys of Georgia-Beatie ("Good night, you princes of South Carolina, you kings of the Upstate!"). We end this blog pondering powerful lines from the same movie. It is where Dr. Larch laments in his journal about "creating a monster" when you try to give an institution like an orphanage the love meant to invest in a family. "We have managed to make the orphange his home, and that is the problem," Larch continues. Let us pray for these and all children everywhere....and may they always know too much love!

Blackberry Wisdom

2008-07-08T18:23:00.000-07:00

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You might not think there's much to be learned from a blackberry bush, but I can assure you there are lessons a-plenty. Sure, it's fun to go pick those luscious fruits of summer, tote them home and cook up one mean cobbler. I have loved explaining to the boys that my mother always makes a special white sauce to go with her own out-of-this-world blackberry cobbler, so that's why I do the same thing. Heck, I even turned this into a spelling lesson as I taught them about the word "roux" and how with a little sugar your basic roux becomes the supreme accompaniment to a blackberry cobbler. Are you getting hungry yet?!
Like most things in life, if you start to dig a little bit deeper, you'll find a wealth of wisdom. What do two old Family Teachers and three young lads actually learn down on the fenceline as we pick these berries?

Nature provides abundantly for us and our bounty has been plentiful. In fact, we know to leave berries on the bush for the birds and insects.
You can learn about harmony and peace from otherwise threatening sources, such as yellow jackets and wasps. They are only trying to get the berries like us!
Patience! You need to wait a week or so between pickings so that the berries will be their sweetest.
You learn quickly how to get out of a tangled mess! The thing NOT to do is panic and tear yourself away in a rush. You have to keep calm, actually lean in to the brambles and then lift up a bit letting the branch fall away.

I thought I'd ask the boys if any Bible verses came to mind while picking blackberries. Randy never hesitated and said, "I am the vine and you are the branches." Well, now. What can you say after that but God is love, and if we love one another, God lives in us, and God's love is perfected in us. Let the people of God say, Amen!

Friday Morning Literary Society

2008-07-05T09:53:00.000-07:00

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Oh, the joys of summer reading! Literature is an important component of life here at Thornwell, and the children are encouraged to read at least 30 minutes every day (whether school is in session or not!). Hank and I decided to begin a Summer Book Club for the boys. We'd let them choose their subject (we're beginning with biographies) and then treat them to an outing to our local coffee shop where we could discuss our books. A couple of Fridays ago found us at the Harmony House in downtown Clinton, where the owners kindly provided a beautiful table and chairs and served us delicious coffee, hot chocolate and the biggest cinnamon rolls we'd ever seen! Our first discussion centered around Thomas Alva Edison. We loved learning that he was an "outstanding failure," remarking that he had simply found 10,000 ways that didn't work when inventing the light bulb! All the Family Teachers and the boys posed outside the coffee shop in their customized golf cart! Now we're reading about Christopher Columbus! I think we could compete with the Algonquin Hotel's Round Table!

Sand in Our Shoes!

2008-06-16T19:11:00.000-07:00

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Through the generous gift of our cottage sponsor, we traveled to Kiawah Island last week to stay at her wonderful beach house! The weather was glorious every single day and we enjoyed not only the sun and the sand but had a ball navigating the island on bicycles! Imagine our SHOCK as we came upon an ALLIGATOR on the bike trail one day!? These animals are protected so we just waited for the huge thing to finish crawling across the trail in to the woods. We were entertained one evening by a Gullah storyteller, attended the "Kiawah Karnival" where the boys had fun with pugil sticks and big bounce houses, and ate our fill of watermelon and shrimp! Because Cortney and Quinn have returned home, Hank and I were back to "my three sons" with Randy, David, and Michael. When we were discussing the fact that our cottage is relatively new and therefore it will take some time to save funds to be able to take a "big" trip to some place like Disney World, all the boys said, "No! We're coming back to Kiawah!"

In the Garden of Weeden!

2008-05-20T04:16:00.000-07:00

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I'm not sure we'll ever be able to open a roadside stand this summer, but we're off to a good start with our vegetable garden. The Thornwell grounds crew tilled a bunch of extra land for the cottages and many of us (OK, mostly Hank!) have worked hard at planting and watering our crops. Cortney was pleasantly surprised that the cows would eat from his hand! Mama Bear painted some garden signs while the Baby Bears helped with digging, watering, and thinning out the corn. Papa Bear found two little "scarecrows" at a yard sale for $2! We were even gifted some heirloom tomatoes from another Family Teacher. Ah....the thought of 'mater sammiches makes our mouths water! Pray for gentle rains and just the right amount of summer sun so that our crops might yield a bountiful harvest. We also pray that these children will be thrilled to discover one of God's greatest miracles as the soil produces a growing plant and finally food.

UP IN ARMED FORCES!

2008-05-19T19:08:00.000-07:00

Talk about your perfect day! Put a young boy on an Army post...throw in a dress parade, rifle range, air show (complete with skydiving and F-16 flyover), rock climbing wall, patriotic songs, hamburgers and hot dogs... and you've got yourself some happy children! We took the boys to Fort Jackson (about an hour up the road in Columbia) on Saturday and they were just thrilled. (Hank was probably thinking great National Guard material in a few years!?!) Quinn had gone home for the weekend but we still filled up the van with Randy and David, Cortney, and Michael. It was a great way to honor all members of our armed forces, past and present. Hank took a "stroll" down memory lane as he went through the replica of a Viet Nam fire support base (camp). I think he was touched most of all though when we returned home and David asked him, "Mister Hank, can you please teach me to do that salute thing?" It only took a few attempts, and he can deliver it!

2008-05-05T16:11:00.001-07:00

The Fifth Dimension

2008-04-21T18:56:00.000-07:00

Michael is our newest addition to Georgia-Beatie. He's 13 years old making him the oldest member of the cottage (well, except for us FIFTY-something Family Teachers!?). He really enjoys sports of all kinds and has set as one of his goals "thirty minutes of physical activity per day." This goes along with his other two goals: to pass the 7th grade and to go to college. Michael has adapted well to life here at Thornwell and we are very happy to have him with us. I remember what David (our youngest boy) said to me after Michael came to interview here and spent an afternoon with us a couple of months ago. We were coming in to the house from a walk around the campus, and I had asked David what he thought about Michael. Without hesitating for a second, he looked straight at me and said, "Take him!" So we did. No regrets!

The Night the Lights Went Out in Georgia-(Beatie)!?*!

2008-03-03T18:35:00.000-08:00

It was a dark and stormy night...Well, not really. It was an overcast day with a mild drizzle. Hank and I had been at the church all morning for a Sunday School teacher workday where we had redesigned bulletin boards, repeatedly jabbed ourselves with push pins, sat in little people chairs, and cut out countless fish to adorn said bulletin boards. After 3 hours of this, we rushed through a pizza lunch and were hoping to come back to Georgia-Beatie, brush our teeth, and catch our collective breaths before the boys got home from school. My cell phone rang. It was a lady from Lowe's telling us that the delivery men (see earlier post about the fridge and meet Mike who by now is our best friend!) were at our Cedar Street house with our new stackable washer-dryer. I tell Hank we need to hurry! He starts fastening his seat belt...s-l-o-w-l-y. My voice escalated, "We don't have time! Let's go!" Hank slams it into reverse and BAM! He ran smack dab in to the streetlight and it came crashing down to our driveway. All the Thornwell horses, and all the Thornwell men... couldn't put that testy streetlight back together again (but it was cleaned up within 30 minutes)! I kept thinking about that busted streetlight, trying to find a life lesson hidden there. Being a Family Teacher is hard work. Tempers flare and we get tired, "burned out" if you will, from time to time. But then the smiling faces on those four boys recharge our batteries and our lights come right back on. Thanks be to God for lessons learned (and strong bumpers!).

The Mighty Quinn!

2008-02-21T19:46:00.000-08:00

Remember the old Bob Dylan tune about Quinn the Eskimo? (i.e., "Come all without, come all within, You'll not see nothing like the mighty Quinn") We welcomed our fourth boy this past Monday and (you guessed it!) his name is Quinn. He's 12 and transferred to us from another Thornwell cottage. We actually met Quinn on our very first visit to Thornwell back in August and were impressed with his diplomatic skills during the family conference we observed. Although Quinn moved to Georgia-Beatie with a less than stellar track record, we are pleased to say that not only has he had better days at school already, but he knows the system here and often steps in to help the other boys. Quinn has also picked up great skills at the pool table (thanks, Hank!). And, you can see from the picture that he's learned to smile. Keep up the good work, Quinn!

And Then There Were Three...

2008-02-09T17:05:00.000-08:00

We welcomed Cortney, age 10, to our Georgia-Beatie family yesterday! At one point, Hank and I looked at each other and said, "Our three sons!?" Cortney has a beautiful voice and wants to be a professional artist when he grows up. He can also tickle the ivories pretty well and has said he'd like to take lessons. David and Randy are pool sharks and in their spare time don their winter gloves (!) to practice their shots at our billiards table. Yes, there's never a dull moment in our family room, trust us! So far, three has not been a crowd, and they've taken to each other just fine. They all earned their weekend privilege package, and voted to go to "Gatti-Town" in Greenville, a huge arcade/movie/pizza buffet complex. Hank and I were worn out just looking at all the games and rides! Here are our best mementos from our great adventure!

"Princes of South Carolina, Kings of the Upstate"

2008-01-26T13:20:00.000-08:00

If you've seen "The Cider House Rules," you surely recall how Michael Caine bid his boys good night at every bedtime: "Good night, you princes of Maine, you kings of New England!" I've adapted this somewhat as you can see from the title of this post, and it's our new good night ritual for David and Randy (in photo, Randy is on left and David on right). They know it's coming, and they get big smiles on their faces. They have been here since Wednesday and are wonderfully good-natured, have voracious appetites, and are doing well in school. Hank and I are slowly getting our rhythms worked out and each day becomes a little smoother and easier. We feel worn out physically but are energized spiritually, especially in little moments when they volunteer for devotions, or that very first day when they prompted us to say the blessing while eating at a local pizza parlor! Out of the mouths of babes.... and straight into our hearts.

You Bet Your Sweet (Whit)-Ash!

2008-01-22T18:42:00.000-08:00

That's Ray and Hercules delivering our BEAUTIFUL new LEATHER furniture, a generous and loving gift from Mr. Gerry Black of Whit-Ash Furniture Company in downtown Columbia SC. We've never met him so this is a true testimony to the kindness of strangers. Gerry just told us he loves and understands the work we're doing here at Thornwell. He's a friend and a customer of our dear friends, Bert and son Joey Showfety. Don't you love the power of connections, the "six degrees of separation" force that continually seems to be in effect all around us? This furniture has truly made our house feel like a home, and we know will be a source of comfort for many years to come. Don't worry, Gerry: we're not allowing any food in the family room!??!

Magic Carpet Ride

2008-01-02T15:55:00.000-08:00

Start. Stop. Start. Stop. It's felt like an old rickety roller coaster as we've waited and waited for the new carpet to arrive and be installed in the Georgia-Beatie Cottage. We were sure it was coming, and then.... nothing! And so much hinged on the new carpet! We couldn't start cleaning furniture, making beds, setting up computer stations and bulletin boards until the new carpet was put down. We left for our Christmas break on December 22 and returned to Clinton on New Year's Day. We both held our breaths as we entered Georgia-Beatie, wondering if we would find the carpet installed. Lo and behold, the house had been completely carpeted! It was "magical" how the carpet gave a whole new look and feel to the house! (see "Happy Hank" in the photo!) We are closer to an intake of children now, so please continue to pray for us as we wait for this to happen.

Fridge Over Troubled Water

2007-12-18T16:39:00.000-08:00

Several weeks ago while dining with our awesome friends, Annie and Mark Goodson, they persisted in having us answer the question "what do you really need for your cottage?" We told them honestly about the poor condition of the old refrigerator there (and the pools of water which seemed to grow bigger every day), and were overwhelmed when they said that's what they wanted to give us. Within a week, Lowes of Newberry SC called to say a brand new fridge was on its way to us! How happy does Sara look with the delivery men, Ron and Mike?! (sorry if you can't see the fridge itself but it's a beaut!) We love this generous gesture, and the fact that it will be with us for many, many years and bring comfort (and comfort food!) to the boys we'll eventually be caring for. It even has an ICEMAKER!
We have also received a 4-slice toaster from Hank's old work colleagues, monetary gifts to the Thornwell Home for Children in our honor as well as designated memorials for others, and, most recently, dear friends who own Hickory Springs Manufacturing Company from Sara's hometown church (First Presbyterian in Hickory NC) purchased eight new beautiful mattresses and box springs for the boys' bedrooms. Our cup runneth over.
So many of you have asked what you can do for us. Your gifts (whether financial or in kind) and prayerful support are essential to the life of our ministry to these children and are always greatly appreciated. It will help if you designate any gifts for the "Georgia-Beatie Cottage" so that they will come directly to our boys. On behalf of these children, God bless you!

Location, Location, Location

2007-12-12T17:23:00.000-08:00

For as long as I can remember, I've had my heart set on doing some sort of mission work. (my favorite bumper sticker of all time is STILL: "Jesus is coming. Look busy.") As I grew older and retirement loomed ever closer, Hank and I undertook serious discussions on what this would mean. I envisioned the Peace Corps somewhere in Africa, or maybe even Habitat for Humanity. Hank stood firm that there was plenty of work to do here at home, and sold me on the idea of staying "local." We learned about Family Teachers, and the great need for married couples to fill this role in children's homes across the country. One such home, The Thornwell Home for Children, immediately caught our attention and we came down in August for an interview. It's hard to describe the sense of peace we felt as we pulled on to the campus, remarking on all that beautiful and solid stone used in the buildings and cottages. The history of this place is indeed remarkable (a subject for another post), but suffice it to say we never doubted our prayers had been answered. We learned that we would eventually open the thirteenth cottage at Thornwell, the stately Georgia-Beatie House (pictured above), and have worked diligently cleaning and organizing as we wait for the day when we get our boys.

Setting the Stage

2007-12-07T17:05:00.000-08:00

Sara and I had "regular" jobs, I guess you could say. She worked for a major breast cancer research study and I worked as a civilian contractor for the Military. Nothing in her medical research background or my 22 years in the Military even remotely prepared us for the path we had decided to take. Put our house on the market? Move to a different state? Work for a children's home as Family Teachers for up to eight elementary school-aged boys?

On September 21st, 2007, Sara and I turned out the lights on our careers and waited for October the 8th, our official first day as Family Teachers at the Thornwell Home for Children in Clinton, South Carolina. Leaving our home in Mebane NC with Sara's car in the lead and my pickup truck filled to the brim following behind, we started our trek southward down I-85 and left for something much different. Really really different!